Kayoubi (“Fire Day”)

10/24/2019 was the day that I found out that Men get Breast Cancer- but of course we don’t know cause we don’t check on ourselves.

“Attention to health is life’s greatest hinderance.” — Plato

My Tuesday was only as great as my tacos, tv shows, and sudden lower abdomen pains appearing right as I sunk into my white, vertical black lined sheets and gray comforter at 11 pm last Tuesday. My roommate, wearing his usual nightly attire of a palm tree tank top with rolled up black sweats, was comfortable in bed as he went about his daily routine of watching two episodes of compelling anime prior to his slumber. I signed off FaceTime with my significant other when I put on my phone alarm. Ready to experience another vague portion of Dreamland, I started to drift off towards the inner unknown of my mind within 30 seconds. It was only another 30 seconds later when I would experience my own living nightmare as pain inflamed my lower abdomen and pelvis.

As my mind and body were emergency prepping for night combat, I mildly deduced that the deathly pain was nothing more than an irritated stomach or food poisoning. How could this have happened after a pretty amazing day that included a nap before my 4 pm therapy session at the Counseling Center? Well, maybe it was the food portions of breakfast (1 plate of eggs, sausage, and potatoes with chocolate milk), lunch (2 plates of braised beef, wild rice, and braised greens), and dinner (2 plates of lemon rosemary chicken breast, brown basmati rice pilaf, and squash medley with carrots).

Although the food played a huge factor in my agonizing, insomniac torture, I just finished another guest workout at the beloved RAC prior to settling down for the night. Being that I was recommitting myself into a serious workout mindset, I did a simple cardio workout that consisted of about 3 song repeats on the Elliptical Trainer and played a few games of basketball. I did not play to the best of my abilities, but I enjoyed the fact that I was finally sweating out the campus food. In one of the games, I remembered being elbowed in the groin area. It hurt a bit in the moment and I still continued to play it off. Was it a possibility that this incident was the reason I wanted to desperately go into a fetal position and cry right now as my body was in a frenzied state of panic? I wondered as I moved as quiet as a mouse as I tried to not wake up my suitemates in between deathly bathroom breaks.

As I barely made it to the toilet each time, I contemplated whether this was how I was fated to die. I reflected on how Elvis died on the toilet while my eyes faced the Heavenly light of the one-person stall. “This would be an embarrassing way to die. I have so much left to do and now it just feels useless to think about tomorrow,” mused my mind as I silently prayed to God to get me through the next hour.

A hernia usually occurs when an organ, such as the intestine, pushes through an opening in the muscle or tissue that holds it in place. Hernias are the most common in the abdomen, but they can also appear in the upper thigh, belly button, and groin areas. A majority of hernias are not life-threatening, but they do not disappear on their own. Surgery is required to prevent dangerous consequences to the host body.

In between the bathroom breaks, all I could think about was attempting to get medicine to tame my stomach. I wondered how I would reach my car, parked next to Patapsco Hall, from Harbor Hall. I groggily opened my dimly lit phone to check the maps app for any open convenience store. The only Rite Aid that was open at 5:00 am was 17 miles in Baltimore, which was on the way to Notre Dame of Maryland University. I chucked up my last bit of food and spit, grabbed my slippers, and inched myself outside of the dorm room. Being that I was in a black hoodie and black shorts, I obviously did not anticipate the cold, wet sadness that plagued Mother Nature that morning. Sliding myself to the car felt like the Israelites when they walked for 40 years with no Promised Land in sight. I kept my hurt to myself so that I did not alert anyone to my presence.

Inguinal hernias are the most common type of hernia. Other common types of hernias include the hiatal hernia (Occurs when part of your stomach protrudes up the diaphragm into your chest cavity. This type of hernia is common in people over 50 years old.), umbilical hernia (Occurs in children and babies under 6 months old. This happens when their intestines bulge through their abdominal wall near their belly button)., and incisional hernia (Occurs after you have had abdominal surgery. Your intestines may push through the incision scar or the surrounding, weakened tissue.). According to the British Hernia Centre (BHC), 70% of hernias are made up of inguinal hernias. They occur when the intestines push through a weak spot or tear in the lower abdominal wall, often in the inguinal canal.

By the time I reached my car and settled into the mobile yet fogged up sleeping bag, I was hesitant to move without informing someone. I was not that close to my suitemates and I did not have that many friends on campus. The only logical person I could call to keep tabs on my movements was my best friend Kayin, but I texted her instead due to not wanting her to worry about my terrible condition. I drove slowly on i-95 to focus on reaching my own Promised Land. Once I reached the Rite Aid at 6:00 am, I hobbled myself to the medicine section.

“You need any help,” said the cashier woman who noticed my limp from when I walked in the store.

“No, I’m fine. You guys have any pain killers? My stomach’s been hurting since last night,” I muttered as she walked over to assist me.

“Alright, well just let me know once you’re ready since I have another customer to attend to at the moment,” hollered the cashier woman as she went back to her post to ring up the other customer.

I picked up the Tums and hobbled to the cashier as generic pop music was blaring over the sound system. The cashier proceeded to ring me up as she asked me what exactly was wrong with me. I informed her that my stomach was hurting from possible food poisoning while experiencing extreme pain in my lower abdomen. I could not get myself to tell her about my hernia. As I exited the store, I hurriedly crawled back to the car to gather myself for a moment. Under normal circumstances, I would have waited to treat myself once I got back to the dorm. Seeing that my chances of survival were slim, I popped the Tums like candy to subdue the pain in my stomach.

This was my third time experiencing the same exact pain with a two to three-year-old hernia. The first couple of times it happened was in the span of a month during and after my trip to Kenya last year. I had gone home for my grandmother’s funeral when the exact same scenario occurred one night after dinner. My body had not properly adjusted to the cuisine, so I had to stay up the whole night without medicine. The next morning, I received medicine, hot water, and bread to quell the pain for the rest of my trip. Two weeks later, after I had been home for 48 hours, I felt the same pain in my stomach and hernia. Luckily, my family lived next to a hospital therefore a doctor’s visit was extremely crucial towards figuring out the type of hernia I was dealing with and the future steps needed to treat the hernia. Thanks to WebMD, I had performed my own research but was still unsure of how to comprehend surgery being the only considerable option. I could do it myself with faith and some weight loss pills if there was any viable chance to evade capitalism on a hospital bed.

When I visited the first doctor’s office, he informed me that the bulge around my pelvic area was indeed a hernia. He advised that surgery would not become my fate so long as I exercised and took care of myself. However, my current doctor did not agree with the first doctor. In fact, he told me that it was nothing to be stressed about since it was stored fat. All I had to do was just lose the weight and it would disappear without a trace. I ended up being temporarily relieved of my fears, yet still confused about my fortune. How could I possibly lose weight after being told that I was obese for my age group for young adult men while simultaneously juggling the pressure of making sure my hernia does not burst open? The answer was very simple. All I had to do was transfer to a four-year college and stress about the fact that I was stressing over classes, non-existent workouts, and wasting copious amounts of time on social media during the median of the semester. Somehow, I had accomplished the easiest part of this whole debacle.

Unfortunately, the pain from my hernia was impossible to ignore so I painfully shuffled back to the store to grab some painkillers. The cashier woman had noticed my reappearance and I proceeded to ask her whether she had any medicine for muscle pulls or lower abdomen tensions that occur after gym workouts. She directed me to the wonderful aisle containing Epsom salt, but I did not have the heart to tell her that my dorm room shower did not contain a tub. I purchased the basic brand of painkillers and headed back to my car. It was 6:30 am when I took the painkillers and proceeded to leave the Rite Aid parking lot.

The sun rose around 7:00 am when I arrived back on campus. I attempted to crash on the couch of the common area of my dorm room, only to wake up every five minutes to pace myself. I thought this would somehow subdue the pain along with the medicine in my system, but these simple treatments stood no chance against the hernia. Somehow, I fell asleep for approximately fifteen to thirty minutes at most before I called University Health Services at 9:00 am. When the student receptionist asked for my insurance, I threw up twice all over the common area. They suggested that I head to the ER and call campus police. While informing campus police about my dilemma, I was hesitant to rush to the hospital due to not wanting to give out my insurance. The thought of my mother finding out about my hospital visit was enough to kill me on the spot. It was too late since the ambulance crew had arrived, so I went to consider a professional second opinion.

My first-time riding in an ambulance at 10:00 am on Wednesday felt ephemeral yet satisfying in the same breath. I used the ride to attempt to distract myself from the pain. Soon enough, we arrived at Saint Agnes Hospital in Baltimore. I felt more at ease with seeing more people who looked like myself working in various parts of the hospital. The fact that I was on the other side of the fence made me feel more cautious than an elephant tiptoeing through a minefield.

The inguinal canal is usually found in your groin. In men, it’s the area where the spermatic cord passes from the abdomen to the scrotum. The spermatic cord holds up the testicles. In women, the inguinal canal contains a ligament that helps hold the uterus in place. This type of hernia is more common in men than women. This is because a man’s testicles descend through the inguinal canal shortly after birth, and the canal is supposed to close almost completely behind them. Sometimes, the canal does not close properly and leaves a weakened area prone to hernias.

Saint Agnes did not seem like a hospital, but more like a laboratory. Seeing old and young faces of family and friends waiting for any word of their loved ones’ survival or death felt as heavy as a feather falling on a casket as its being lowered into the grave. You could see them masking their worries through distractions by basic cable television playing shows like Judge Joe Brown, meaningless conversations with random context, and lifeless expressions staring at phones or off into space in the waiting room. Attempting to hurl my stress, anger, and inner demons into the hospital’s version of a doggy bag, I subconsciously wondered why bland colors have taken over hospitals- specifically the waiting rooms. Was their special brand of aged greens, blues, and pinks with dirty marble floors supposed to provide comfort for anyone? Was this a hospital’s excuse to not get sued by civilians lest they were hypothetically bound by law to find out the patient status at a returning time? “Masongo Ogora,” announced a nurse’s quizzical voice. I rose up and followed the nurse to the appointed location for various tests and the same ten questions about my medical history. Imagine if I actually decided to stay in the dorm and wait out my next bowel movement with no sleep and supervision.

You probably never have been given morphine by a nurse but close your eyes and imagine your face as you are riding the SUPERMAN: Escape From Krypton rollercoaster in 100 degrees Fahrenheit in July. After a few hours of bloodwork, CT scans, CAT scans, and being hooked up to an IV, I still did not know the verdict of the tests. My body felt like it was just refreshing after doing a hard midterm, waiting for the final grade to appear on Blackboard. The surgery team finally appeared at 4:00 pm informing me that I would need to undergo immediate surgery that same day. This was due to the fact that the upper layer skin in the location of my hernia had torn and allowed my small intestine to become entangled, which had prevented any bowel movements from the previous night. Immediately after I received this information, I called my mother to let her know I was in the hospital and was going to be prepping for same-day surgery in a couple of hours. One of the doctors on the surgery team had filled her in with the information that I possibly failed to process since I did not want to stress my mother out during this crucial moment.

Kayin had arrived slightly after the surgery team had entered my temporary room. It was a relief to see her face especially after an arduous ordeal. I caught her up to speed about my day as she cracked jokes about my current physical state. Whether she was worried or satisfied went undetected since she usually had an amazing poker face. Soon enough, I was being prepped for the surgery. The nurse who was performing the prep commented that if I did not show up to the hospital when I did, then I would have ended up dead in a week. The doctor leading the surgery team eventually came in and ran down the surgical process required for my inguinal hernia.

Laparoscopic surgery is performed using general anesthesia. The surgeon makes several small incisions in the lower abdomen and inserts a laparoscope-a thin tube with a tiny video camera attached to one end. The camera sends a magnified image from inside the body to a monitor, giving the surgeon a close-up view of the hernia and surrounding tissue. While viewing the monitor, the surgeon uses instruments to carefully repair the hernia using synthetic mesh. People who undergo laparoscopic surgery generally experience a somewhat shorter recovery time. However, the doctor may determine laparoscopic surgery is not the best option if the hernia is very large or the person has had pelvic surgery. Most adults experience discomfort after surgery and require pain medication. Vigorous activity and heavy lifting are restricted for several weeks. The doctor will discuss when a person may safely return to work. Infants and children also experience some discomfort but usually resume normal activities after several days.

The white lights blinded my face as the anesthesia woke me up after the completion of the surgery. “Am I dead,” immediately wandered my mind as I processed my physical status while coming off the anesthesia. The nurse to my right finalizing the details of something pertaining to my surgery confirmed that I was still in the land of the living. The surgery had been successful, and I was wheeled off to a room where I recovered and recouped for the rest of the week. Seeing Kayin and my mom with a couple of friends and family members really warmed my heart since I had carried my burden alone for 48 hours. Walking and attempting to use the bathroom were really difficult at first and reminded me of how we take our small mechanics as humans for granted every single moment. I barely rested throughout the recovery process, but I was allowed to be discharged on Thursday after updating the doctors on my recovery process. Doctor’s orders were for me to rest for about 7–10 days with no strenuous activity to ensure proper healing. Quite the memorable Tuesday if you asked me.

Citations:

• Healthline Media (Ed.). (n.d.). Hernia. Retrieved November 3, 2019, from https://www.healthline.com/health/hernia.
• · Hyperarts, R. M.-. (n.d.). Inguinal Hernia. Retrieved November 3, 2019, from https://general.surgery.ucsf.edu/conditions--procedures/inguinal-hernia.aspx.